#41

4, Take 4

align ... divide ... rest
warm petrie bed, floating safe
four hopes sleep tonight

Courtesy of Linda of I've got bad plumbing, written after her 4th IVF retrieval

#39 and 40

My body betrays
me, I don't understand why
What is the answer?


Two years we have tried
Others have tried much longer
O' Child, where are you?


Courtesy of sweet Jenn (the sushi loving princess)

#38

colors shift and change
and leaves fall in big clouds of
orange, yellow, red

then comes snow. my heart says
Wait! I am not quite ready
this change is so fast!

(I am, by nature
slow). Snow is falling, thick, fast
the size of cornflakes

it cannot wait for
me to become ready, it
is already falling


Courtesy of Me, in snowy new hampshire

Lovely blog award

Lovely blog award
for heartfelt heartsick haiku
thank you Mad Hatter!

#37

Tug of War

Nine years and counting
My body wants to give up
But my heart will not

We should keep trying
When will enough be enough?
Can't make up my mind


Courtesy of Anonymous

#36

Fuck you period
Why won't you bloody well come?
I hate you. Please come.


TRUTH courtesy of Mad Hatter

#34 & #35

A dream lit in me-

And faded before I woke.

Put me back to sleep

***

I tried for so long-

I thought I finally won,

God knew the real score.

2 lovely haikus courtesy of Kate @ twoweekwait

#33

Each time you wonder
maybe this, maybe this will
be the thing that works


Courtesy of me

#31, #32

two week wait? I wish.

my two weeks have turned to three

I'm ready: yes? no?

come on positive!

I am ready to see you

come on two sweet lines!

Courtesy of impatientMe

#30

Living on eggshells
Treading softly, carefully
Afraid to feel joy


Courtesy of Mad Hatter

#29

FRIENDS

I am so grateful
Blogging let me meet new friends
Just like my sweet Kate


Awwww. Courtesy of Jenn at Infertile Sushi-Loving Princess

#28

The Universe grows
I pray it expands to give
me one more to love


A midnight Haiku courtesy of IF Optimist

#27

BUILDING FAMILY
NOT THE WAY I THOUGHT I WOULD
DOES ADOPTION COUNT


Courtesy of Jenn at Infertile Sushi-Loving Princess

#26

Stars around the moon
Sparkle in the darkness
One dives into her light!


Courtesy of Mad Hatter

#25

Waiting for the moon.
Will I catch a comet in
my womb? Midnight wish

Gift courtesy of IF Optimist

#24

the magical thing

about the two week wait is

it lasts forever

Courtesy of me

#21, #22, #23

I was worrying
about my follicle counts
not ovulation


horse out of the barn
and me? I am standing in
the doorway, watching


the thing I worry
about is rarely the thing
that ends up failing


Courtesy of me

#20

Oh, to go fishing
I want to teach my child how
Why is that so hard?


Courtesy of Mr. W

#19

is this just a dream
or a hallucination
how did i get here


Courtesy of Lisa

#16, #17, #18

it is amazing
how hope drives me to inject
my belly each day


one part science, two
parts magic and more hope than
almost anything.


just this once I want
to say no, I won't do it
but I'd be lying.


Courtesy of me

#14, #15

Hot sweaty pig sex
Instead of sex on demand
Oh I miss those days!


Ovaries shrivel
Uterus is aging too
Am I too old now?


Courtesy of sweet SushiJenn

#13

lost my embryo
ivf shattered my heart
all that for nothing

Courtesy of Sassy

#12

my boobs: no infant

to suckle and destroy them

they stand on their own

Courtesy of Wifey

#11

My uterus sucks

It killed all my babes to be

Fucking Uterus

Courtesy of JoAnne

#10

another pee stick

another damn negative

time to start again

Courtesy of me

#9

in the 2ww
afraid of another loss
afraid it will work


Courtesy of the divine Meinsideout

#7, #8

Bun in the oven
Is what I wish I could have
My oven won't work


Infertility
Is good for making haikus
It's five syllables


Courtesy of Mrs. W.

#6

Journey of a Dad

Long, confusing, sometimes sad

Worth it and wanted

Courtesy of my darlin'

#5

Ode to addiction :

Even though I know better, yes

I peed on the stick

Courtesy of moi

#4

I feel a soft twinge
Where is my bundle of joy?
Aunt Flo is a whore

Courtesy of IF Optimist

#3

I would give it all

For just one moment in time

To hold my baby

Courtesy of K.

#2

the art of haiku

may be the best we will do

while hope leads us through

courtesy of David.

#1

infertility
sucks rocks and other hard things
might as well make art